I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
