I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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