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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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