There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
