I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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