Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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