Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
