There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
