I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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