none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
