I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
