But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
