I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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