Are we in a gay sports bar?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
