I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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