I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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