im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
