anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize