Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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