Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
