Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i was born a porn star she said
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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