He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
