the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
