You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
