Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
