It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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