Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We just shotgunned beers for America
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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