i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize