I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
