i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize