Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
