I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
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My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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