he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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