Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
