evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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