i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
