I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
being pregnant is like rehab
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
