this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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