if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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