So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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