I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize