you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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