I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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