dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
