i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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