biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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