Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
