dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
