Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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