guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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