am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Randomize
