does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
