Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
farters have to be the big spoon...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
