True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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