I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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