i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
