i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
