is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
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when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
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Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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