he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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