i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
