So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
