okay pat passed out under dana's car
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
