Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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