I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
please come you make the beer taste better
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
