its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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