How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
