When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
