real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
