Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
