i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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