Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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