My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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