New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
